finalflight | PSL; [It's bigger than us, it's bigger than everything]

[It’s hard to be offended at the less-than-pleasant gestures coming from Hank; this might be the first early morning he’s shared with the man, but he has estimated that this would likely be the response he’d get. (One should note how he decides to say good morning in this manner, anyway.)

He straightens, all politeness as usual, all amicability and calm — the day is definitely reset, indeed — and Connor attends to the last question.]

No. Not yet. We won’t have much longer until they expect a report, however. I may be able to procrastinate a little while, but it’s as I said: they haven’t given me as much leeway recently.

[Nearby, Sumo is asleep on his side, on the floor. The bag full of items purchased for Connor has been neatly organized and set on the one elongated nightstand in the room.]

How do you feel?

[Hank gives a breathy half-laugh and takes a couple deep breaths.]

I'm alive. I'm awake. You want anything else you're gonna have to ask me later. Uh-

[He doesn't want to ask. He really never wants to find out. Which probably means he should ask now, before he wakes up enough to convince himself to put it off.]

What kinda thing should we expect once they do? I mean are they going to, uh- try to do something to you?

I’m not certain. There will undoubtedly be a repeated attempt to contact me through the Zen Garden — the graphical interface — that I had told you about.

[How far that rabbit hole went, how deep Cyberlife’s claws were hooked into him as a result, Connor could only remain oblivious to. He knows this, to a certain degree; but unpredictability is hard to account for, that constant unknown lingering over them.]

Beyond that, I don’t know how many resources they’ll wish to expend in order to find me. At least... immediately. We’re so far from the city, and I’m likely not the most problematic android for them at the moment.

[A certain RK200 has that dubious honor.]

[He leans against the headboard, groaning as he inches his way up it to a slow and careful sitting position. Probably he should move his usual morning schedule as far up as it'll go - for some mysterious reason there's more pressure to do that today than there was yesterday, although he did try to keep Connor from stopping somewhere for the night, didn't he? Hank doesn't really feel like saying it out loud, but the internal 'I told you so' kind of soothes him. So does the idea of Connor, the Problematic Android. He snorts, amused, but it's probably not worth trying to explain decades-old slang to Connor well enough that Connor gets the joke.]

Probably shouldn't drive today then, right? I mean, you shouldn't. I know I made that stupid deal with you but uh, I'll take you up on it tomorrow.

[If Connor gets a tomorrow. Which, fuck, he will. That's stupid. Of course he will.]

Cause you get all, uh... They pull you into that garden and you zone out, right? You're sure you can't lie? Or at least, fudge it a little?

[If there is an internal "I told you so" creeping its way along Connor's circuitry, originating from Hank, he doesn't say anything about it. It's hard to regret completely the decision to rest for the night. Hank is human, and there only so much that Connor is willing to run him into the ground even for the sake of his own freedom. Maybe even especially for the sake of his own freedom, though even he knows better than to say that much.

He sets his jaw, watching the other man intently.] You don't look like you're in any shape to drive.

[Here's an "I told you so" in the form of "I told you not to drink so much last night". Can you hear it, Hank?]

I can try. There's only so much 'fudging' I can do when the situation is so... blatantly extreme.

[Hard to fudge the fact that he's been swept away and on the run from the company that made him. Could probably spin it as a kidnapping that he's decided to play along with, but even then that sounds hard to sell.]

[Hank does hear the ‘I told you so’ and he’s sure Connor hears his response. If not Hank can just turn this middle finger up a little louder.]

I’ll get there. Besides, if you’re behind the wheel when you zone out I’ll be too busy screaming to snap you out of it. If I’m driving I can at least... I don’t know, slap you or something. Is that something we could try, d’you think? Interrupt the connection somehow?

[Look at this eyebrow lift. This is his deflection against any middle finger gestured in his direction; that annoying android-like way of just seeming unaffected by everything.]

You're going to interrupt the connection by trying to slap me? [There's some strange, hilarious role reversal in that mental image, even if the current discourse is too serious to laugh at.]

To be honest with you, Lieutenant, I don't know what would work. You could attempt to shake me out of it, but I have no experience with trying to forcefully leave this interfacing against Amanda's will. It might work, it might not. My mind is not at all attuned to the physical world during these sessions.

[He thinks about this, having gotten far enough to swing his legs over the edge of the bed and lean forward, carefully.]

It’s too bad Cyberlife scooped up all the eggheads worth asking about this. I keep feeling like being able to just plug the right numbers into your code without worrying if your head was about to explode would save us a lot of trouble.

[Okay. They’re getting out of this hotel room fast today. Fast means he’s going to stand up right about... now. And then he’s going to grab the headboard for a minute. He’s okay. When it comes to getting up in the morning he’s the Flash, he’s a superhero, he’s... not actually going to throw up because he didn’t drink enough last night for that. He is fine.

But not the kind of fine where he can deal with this much dread and doom this early in the morning. A corner of his mouth twitches in the closest he’s going to get right now to a smile.]

You know what I think, Connor, I think you just don’t want me to slap you. I think you like dishing it out more than you wanna take it.

[Hank doesn't look anything like a man solid on his feet. He almost reaches out to steady him, before the other manages to grab hold of the headboard and not topple over. Connor is starting to doubt the fact that he can get out of here and drive right now.]

Lieutenant... no offense, but it currently appears as if something as harmless as a gentle breeze might knock you over. I'm not at all worried about sustaining any sort of injury if you hit me. I'm more concerned about your current state.

Sit down for a few minutes more. Do you want me to bring you some water?

[Hank’s reaction isn’t quite a sneer; that’d be too straightforward. It’s too halfhearted for that. He thought he’d get more time before he had to sort through that oily feeling and the gratitude that ooze up whenever Connor does this.

Fuck it. If Connor wouldn’t even let him joke around for a second before pointing out how pathetic Hank is, Hank doesn’t have to worry about reacting the right way.]

Let me shower really quick and I’ll perk right up. You just keep thinking about where you wanna go today, okay? Let me do what I’m gonna do, I’ll get us there.

[His brow cinches with the flicker of a threat to argue the point... but it recedes with a slow sort of resignation.]

...All right. If you say so, Lieutenant.

["If you say so", Connor's go-to phrase of probably-not-a-great-idea-but-sure-go-for-it-if-you-want.]

[Hank gives him a tight smile - he does say so, so nice of Connor to agree - and makes it to the bathroom. All by himself. He even remembers to bring a change of clothes.

He comes out in about fifteen minutes, shivering and toweling off his hair. He tosses the towel toward the bed, then holds out his arms and makes a point of walking with one foot directly in front of the other, raising his eyebrows. Then he shivers again, cold water dripping out from his hair and down his neck, and digs in the duffel bag while he talks, looking for something warm to slip on under his coat. His arms are still covered in goosebumps; weird how you forget how deeply shitty a cold shower is until you decide to take one. He's sure as shit awake now, though. ]

See? All better. You gonna make me recite the alphabet backward now, or you going to trust me to drive?

[Hank might be trying to prove a point, but all Connor sees are things to correct; coming out still shivering (you'll compromise your immune system, Hank), hair still needing drying (...you'll compromise your immune system, Hank), and the argument that he's more awake now does not necessarily nullify Connor's issue with him probably still not feeling great after last night.

Maybe Connor should've been a caretaker android. If this is the wry thought that flits through his mind, he says nothing of it -- instead, he only grabs the towel on the bed and offers it mildly back to Hank.]

I trust you to drive. But you should dry off more.

[take care. of. yourself!!!!]

[Hank could have told him - if he knew what Connor was thinking, anyway, and lucky thing he doesn't - that a caretaker android would have gone over much, much worse. At least Connor cares about him because he wants to, but even now that Hank knows that it's hard enough to take. Something pretending to care about him, trying to get under his skin like that just because it's been told to-

It's probably a good thing, that's all, that Hank doesn't know Connor is thinking about that. A better thing that Connor doesn't show any indication of that concern right now, so that after a brief suspicious look Hank can accept it as just an observation, and his hackles don't rise any further than they already have. Hank ducks his head, rubbing the towel on the underside of his hair and making it all stick up in weird directions.]

You sure you don't have to do anything? Any maintenance or whatever?

[He ruffles his hair with the towel one last time, throws it on the bed again, and pulls the sweatshirt he found on over his head, thinking about what he knows.]

You said you uh, straighten up any errors when you go back to Cyberlife. But you also said you don't get many, because of what a fancy new model you are. So we won't have to worry about that for a while, right?

[Connor’s eyes track the trajectory of the towel as it lands back on the bed. Better, he thinks, than nothing. Hank is slipping on something warmer, so maybe he can let this concern fall by the wayside for now.

(The worry is simply something that won’t go away, Hank. It’s how Connor is, and the man’s a good friend. Of course he’s going to worry.)]

That’s correct. I can self-test, and I ran one simply out of curiosity last night, though I can often tell if there’s some part of me that needs adjusting, or realignment due to excessive exertion, otherwise.

[AKA when they find themselves in a tussle, or a lengthy chase scene.]

Only the... expected errors were indicated at the time. Nothing to be concerned about.

[Hank eyes him. He doesn't know enough about Connor to read that hesitation, that pause there. It's probably just a 'how do I explain this shit to this stupid human' kind of pause, stopping to figure out the simplest word to use. But as he walks around making sure everything's packed up, tying a plastic bag over the top of the still-capless whiskey bottle, he decides to ask anyway.]

Yeah? What kind of 'expected' errors, just you getting jittery or something?

[His lips pulls downwards.]

Code 4 errors. What’s to be expected after my ongoing decision to not return to Detroit.

[Putting a name to deviancy still feels strange, as applied to him. Like some label that he never really tore off and stuck to chest, but it’s there, and finding it odd on the tongue is merely an issue of unfamiliarity. Discomfort, because it heralds uncertainty regardless of whether or not he’s accepted it.]

[Hank zips up the bag, taking Connor's expression as good enough reason to study him openly.]

Still not telling me what those actually do.

[The guy seems reluctant as hell, so Hank can't just ask him if something's wrong, or if he wants to talk about it. He shrugs, casual.]

Stupid human here, remember? You gotta use small words when you explain this shit to me.

[There is a reluctance there, but it isn’t the same as his blatant denial from before, the sort that made Hank shove him into the backseat of his car, useless. It’s reflective of what he had admitted to him earlier — that trickle of fear, still crawling through his veins, the very reason why they’re on the run. Simply because he’s something that he shouldn’t be, according to the company that made him.

Connor won’t try to avoid explaining, regardless.]

I explained it to you briefly when we first met, remember?

[Rainy day at the Chicken Feed. Leaning against a sorry little table under a tilted umbrella.]

My analysis concludes that it’s a system of compounding errors in my cognitive processing. [Hank asked for small words, but he might not get them this time.] Code 4 errors are categorized as the most egregious, the ones that cause androids to interpret their erratic programming as emotions.

[Hank’s eyes widen briefly as he catches on, and a little more about this conversation makes sense now, in context. Connor’s shouted confession, telling Hank that he was afraid, it seems very far from the bland face laying out tech jargon in front of him. But it isn’t. Hank wonders how much more about Connor he’s going to miss, looking for the little human tics of emotion that Connor’s not going to show.]

Shit, leave it to you to hide a fuckin existential crisis in a technical manual.

Look, if you need any help uh, interpreting that erratic programming, you can talk to me about it. I know I don’t uh, exactly have the best track record dealing with all that emotional shit, but I do have fifty years experience on you. Whatever’s going through your head right now, you don’t have to keep it to yourself. Not if you don’t want to.

I... I know.

[Instinctively, he knows that he can ask Hank. Due to the indelible sort of trust that exists there between them, especially after all that's happened, this is no dawning realization for Connor.]

Thank you, Lieutenant. But I'm not trying to hide an 'existential crisis'. What is happening to me -- or has happened -- is clear. It's merely dealing with the consequences of such that might prove difficult.

You were the one who told me, after all, that 'emotions always screw everything up.'

They do. Unfortunately, we can’t turn em off.

[He just looks at Connor for a second, thoughtful.]

Or shouldn’t, maybe.

But the offer stands, alright? If any of those code four errors start to get to you, you can tell me. Keep me up to date.

[Then he picks up their bag and heads toward the door.]

Come on, I can take care of Sumo while you go check us out, then we’ll go. I don’t know where yet but uh, guess we’re better off just driving at random for a while, anyway.

I will. I promise.

[The promise is also easily made; once acknowledged, once hit with the potential of something he doesn't know how to process, Hank will be the first to know.]

I'll join you in a minute, then. Make sure you don't forget anything on the way out.

[With a succinct nod and that mote of advice, Connor leaves the make his way down to what passes for a lobby in this place, to check them out as instructed.]

[Hank lets Sumo wander around and do his business, feeds him, then lets him wander around some more. Whenever Connor gets back he'll be ready to go; at some point he'll need to eat but that's later, at least a few hours from now. For now, he drives.

While he drives, Hank finds himself fidgeting. His heel jitters on the floor, his fingers tap on the wheel. He glances over at Connor, realizing by about the third time that he's probably not being as subtle as he thinks he is and that he needs to stop. But if he stops he might never know when the whole thing starts, the whole Cyberlife garden shit, unless he starts some bullshit conversation and keeps it going so he can tell when Connor stops talking. But Connor probably needs to concentrate on coding, and Hank's bullshit smalltalk generator is kind of rusty. Every now and then he tries anyway.]

Hey, why don't you fiddle with the radio? Find something you like.

[In the passenger's seat especially, it's hard to miss Hank's fidgeting. He can practically hear the metronomic tempo in the tapping of his fingers against the steering wheel. Connor can feel the glances brushing across his profile, even if the android mostly keeps his eyes forward and on the road.

There's only so many times he can allow that to happen before he is basically required to ask what the problem is, what can he do to ease Hank's anxiety, is he worried about Connor being lost to the forceful pull of Amanda-

When Hank actually tries his hand at small talk. Connor looks at him, curious.]

I don't really listen to music, Lieutenant. The extent of what I've heard is what you play in the car when we're on our way to a crime scene.

[So very loud and very... colorful music, generally.]

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