psl; [the healing process]

[animalqueen]

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF ELLE GRAYSON is generally a normal one, with enough variety sprinkled in throughout the week to prevent it from becoming a deadly dull routine. She lives in a flat in London, a charming little one bedroom and two bath, not particularly large, but cozy. It’s a strange fusion of modern and old fashioned, a dichotomy that reflects her own personality quite well.

Every morning, she wakes up and makes a cup of strong coffee. (Black, no sugar.) Her cat, a grey, long-haired, grumpy looking thing, lazes on her bed for longer than she does, only trotting out when he’s ready to be fed. His name is Paladin Leeroy. Sometimes she just calls him Lee.

When coffee and breakfast are a thing of the past, Elle usually hears chirping on her balcony, a structure small but laden with potted plants. She will open the doors, and sometimes, if she’s in a particularly energized mood, will announce, “Your Queen has arrived! Court will now be held,” and the little sparrows will chirp at her, and line up in a row. She’ll feed them birdseed, or bread, if she’s run out. Later, Leeroy will bound out, but she always tells him to leave the birds alone until they’re done eating. He listens. They always fly away before he gets a chance to do any real harm.

Lately, she’s been working part-time at an advertising agency, writing and tweaking copy that slides across her desk. It isn’t the most fulfilling job, but it pays the bills, and that’s what matters. Her real work is her own writing; freelancing for various websites, and poking and prodding at the idea for a book, slowly trying to force life into the narrative. Sometimes inspiration strikes her, and she sits and writes for hours at a time, until her eyes begin to strain, and she has to stop. Other times, she grows tired and can’t seem to string words together at all, and her word document looks a bit like this:

And then stuff happened. Everyone died tragically but it was fine, because it was thematically appropriate to the narrative.

ugh ugh you suck

That always gets deleted at the end, of course.

Crammed in the corner of the living area is an upright piano, white and well-used. Sheet music sits scattered on its stand, and an acoustic guitar rests on the floor next to it. There’s a television, of course, a flat-screen that looks larger than it actually is in her apartment. Connected to it is a Playstation 2, a blu ray player, and little else. On the shelves above, there are books — so many books. Mostly horror and old classics; copies of Jane Eyre and Pride and Prejudice look particularly worn.

The shelf next to it is stocked with board games. Tabletop and family ones, alike. One in particular is even out of its spot, instead spread out on the little glass coffee table. It looks as if a campaign hasn’t been started yet, though someone’s been flipping through the manual quite recently. Maybe quite frequently.

Her bedroom is small, but the bed is large and roomy. There are pictures of friends and family on the bookshelves in here, and a few on her nightstand. Beyond that, she keeps this part of the flat a little messier than the rest.

GENERALLY, SHE LIVES A RELATIVELY NORMAL LIFE, quiet and cozy. Sometimes living by herself is a bit lonely, and the time difference means that she cannot call her mom and step-dad any time she likes just to hear their voices. But like all things, these emotions pass like any other. Perhaps the only real oddity in her life are the strange surprises she sometimes finds on her balcony. There were a family of raccoons once. A possum. A falcon, who looked lost and confused when she opened the door, turning its head at her, blinking. There were even rats, but they only sniffed the air in her direction, and did little else.

Elle Grayson is just a normal 26 year-old, with a magnetism or two that might be considered abnormal. Perhaps that’s the extent of the oddities in her life. Perhaps this is all she could ever really wish for.

Perhaps she’ll be proven wrong, sooner rather than later.

----------

D I R E C T O R Y;

➤ a reunion
➤ a cat
➤ a novel
➤ an outing
➤ a resolution
➤ a sickness
➤ a home
➤ a boyfriend
➤ a horror

Comments

[coalheart]

[He doesn't reply watching Elle as she moves back to her room before he leaps off the table himself, moving away from the balcony before transforming into a man.

Clothes on, shoes on, hair slightly messy, but it's never bothered him. He sits and waits.

The planetarium is something worth looking forward to because the stars in the skies are not the same as they were before. At least humans were aware of that much and dedicated their time to studying the skies above them in their own way.

He wants to see if he'll see something similar again, if it will spark a memory.]

[animalqueen]

[She hurries -- or as much as a woman like her can hurry, trying to look presentable for the outside world. Changing out of her current attire, she slips on a comfortable pair of jeans and a blue-navy long-sleeved plaid shirt, with a white tank top underneath. White sneakers and a plain dark jacket completes the ensemble. Her make-up is done with efficiency, but she decides to keep the ponytail for now. (Though she does attempt to make it look a bit less haphazard than before.)

Done, and assuming that Corvus probably didn't take half as long as her, she steps out of her room. Looks like she was right; he's waiting for her.]

Sorry for the wait. You ready to go where no man has gone before?

[coalheart]

[Corvus is sporting a clean shaven look for once. Weird. He's wearing a dark denim jacket and boots to accompany it and the red scarf which, for once is also not wrapped around his face, but tucked around his neck in a similar manner that Elle did for him.

He looks up when Elle steps out. He nods.]

Ready.

And as for that, man is getting close. Still a long way to go.

[animalqueen]

[She looks at him and-- woah, where did the beard go? He looks different when he's clean-shaven, but certainly no less handsome... God. Stop staring.

(And he has the scarf, too, wearing it around his neck like a normal person would. She grins, biting back a comment. She decides to be quietly appreciative this time instead.)]

...well, you know what they say about space. It's the final frontier. [They really need to have a sit down and watch some sci-fi, don't they?

But she moves to grab her keys and purse and moves to open the door to leave; she waves at him to follow.] And by the way, you look good without the beard, too.

~*~*~*~*~*~

[Once they're in the car, Elle prepares herself for the drive. Thirty minutes isn't that long in the grand scheme of things, but last time she struggled for something to talk about with him. And that was a much shorter trip.

This time, though, she seems like she's more prepared. She has an old Ipod plugged into the dash of her car; it's a clunky, older generation, but she likes it because it can store more music. The moment she starts the car, Don't Let Me Down by a band that certainly no one's ever heard of starts playing.]

Off on our mini-roadtrip we go. Are you comfortable?

[coalheart]

[Corvus had a hand on his chin before he hears Elle speaking to him when they're in her car. The music echoes around them and he decides rather quickly that it isn't bad.]

I'm fine. I know how to pull the seat back if I need a nap.

[He doesn't expect Elle to actually speak to him like last time. He's fine with the quiet. Or a quiet punctured by music. That's fine too.]

[animalqueen]

[Elle, on the other hand, has decided that she wants to make some small attempt at conversation if she can. She forces herself to search for words; finally, some come to her. The Beatles continue to to play through her car's speakers.]

So what made you decide that you wanted to visit the planetarium today?

[coalheart]

I wanted to see the stars.

[Oh, easy enough.]

It's not the same anymore especially with man made lights clouding up the skies.

[animalqueen]

That's true enough.

[She pauses.]

Back home, in certain parts of the state, they were the clearest you could ever imagine, though. You have to get away from the city to see them like that.

[In passing, she can't help but wonder if Corvus is feeling homesick. Is that the reason why...?

She purses her lips. She reaches over to tap at her iPod.] Why don't you pick something you like?

[coalheart]

[He obliges Elle, by taking the iPod and spending a minute or two to figure it out, doing so quickly enough. Corvus spends another two minutes, letting the Beatles song finish as he scrolls through the long, long list of songs before he suddenly asks.]

... I know this one song. I forgot the name and I don't think you have it.

[ (Because he remembers watching his half, singing the song out loud during long nights at the studio or at home by herself, lost in her own world, his heart resonated at the same time as hers, she never realized it, but he also ended up having the same fondness for the music like her, as if in that moment they were the same themselves...) ]

I know some of the words.

[animalqueen]

Really? [That iPod is full to the brim, but it's not like she expects to know of every song, obscure or otherwise.]

What is it?

[coalheart]

[He lowers the volume of the iPod, thinking deeply, reaching back into his memory for the words, the lyrics, the melody. It seems like a long minute before he finally opens his mouth.

And sings.]

I'll be the one who brings you coffee when you can't get up
I'll be the one who turns the light out when you go to sleep
I'll be the one who turns your stomach into something else and you say
Shut up, shut up, every time I say...

[It's a low throaty noise, wistful, melancholic, and serene. Corvus gazes out the window as if putting himself in a trance as he recites the words of a song barely anyone knows and yet they were beautiful whether they were known or not.]

... And I'd cut my fingers to the bone,
And I'd split my sides in for you...

[Why did he become so fond of it? Was it simply because heard it repeated so many times over the years of his waiting, his watching? Did the quiet undercurrent of human love and obsession in the words touch him in some way?

He doesn't know. It is one of the few memories he keeps because of her.]

[animalqueen]

[For a moment, Elle isn't sure what to expect. But when Corvus begins to sing -- his voice serene and a little sad -- she's speechless. She drives with her eyes locked on the road, but she focuses her hearing on his voice, on the melody, on his inflections of it.

To her, the lyrics of songs were merely poetry, done in rhythm and melody. This was certainly no different, and this poem is about one of the most enduring and most written about emotions in the human spectrum: love.

The way he sings it, she knows that it has meaning to him, in some way. Though she can't quite know how. When he's done, she doesn't say anything at first, as if afraid to break the silence, afraid to pierce the serenity of the moment.

Eventually, she ventures.]

...What is it about that song that you like? [There was such emotion in it, and yet Corvus hardly showed it himself in her daily interactions with him.

(Singing, how it affords such a vulnerability to those who perform. A window for those who really listen. It's why she doesn't like singing in front of others, even after all these years.)]

[coalheart]

[Tonight, we throw ourselves away
And we make it every time
When I thought I was okay
You said I was alright
As the night comes crashing down
We catch ourselves a line
Yeah we're only makin' out
If we make it out alright

Corvus finishes the last verse of the song, letting it settle between them. When Elle asks her question, he keeps his eyes on the window pondering. Now that there's someone giving him the question, it forces him to look deep within his thoughts. Why did he like it besides the obvious reasons? Why does it resonate with him to the point where it doesn't need its origin to make it matter to him?]

... The optimism.

And I think there's something painful about it.

[animalqueen]

[She pauses again. A pain in optimism? Does he mean a bittersweetness?

A hand comes up to run fingers through her hair, then back on the wheel.]

Why is it painful? I feel like you could also interpret it as love overcoming whatever challenges are thrown your way. If you think of it like that, it's actually hopeful.

[coalheart]

[He repeats two lines of the songs rather wryly:]

And you cut my face, I told you so
I'd tear my eyes out for you.

That's quite painful if you ask me.

[animalqueen]

[She gives him a sideways glance.]

I don't think it's meant to be taken that literally. The point is, "I'd do anything for you, even if I hurt myself doing so." Love in a nutshell.

[coalheart]

[... He seems uncomfortable with what she said.

(Because if that's what it means, it explains why James Aubel persevered, why he triumphed, why Corvus fell, why he was a failure, why he would always be missing something because...)

He lets out a muffled non-committal noise.]

That so.

[Nailed it.]

[animalqueen]

[He sounds oddly unconvinced, she thinks to herself. But she doesn't feel the need to argue the point further; lyrics, like poetry, could be interpreted differently depending upon the listener or reader. That was part of what made it beautiful.

And so she merely shrugs, her ponytail falling across her shoulder.]

That's what I think, anyway. Love makes people do crazy things -- or at least, that's what they tell me. So where'd you hear that song? I'll have to look it up when we get back.

[coalheart]

... Somewhere around the States when the others and I migrated around the area.

[Partial truths. Always partial truths. Because she would hate him if she knew the whole truth, it is ugly and Corvus knows it and the fact that he's aware of these things makes him ache, he knows how disgusting it all is (but he's been waiting for so long he feels empty, empty, empty...)]

It was hard to ignore for some reason. It's no church bells after all.

[animalqueen]

[Partial truths. Elle wouldn't know the difference between them and the whole truth -- his hesitation is hard to parse, just like everything about him. She figures if he's uncomfortable with telling her something, maybe Cor would come around in his own time. Maybe.

Silence threatens to fill the empty space again, but Elle fights against it. She blurts out, a bit awkwardly, something that comes to mind.]

Right, church bells. You should listen to Always Something There to Remind Me by Naked Eyes. It's in my iPod. Might be a livelier way of hearing church bells than you're used to; kind of like... wedding bells, in a way.

[Corvus, please cheer up...... she's trying hard to pull you out of that doom and gloom you're so fond of.]

[coalheart]

[He obeys and scrolls down searching for the title and taps on it. He listens to it for a minute before furrowing his brow.]

Odd.

[animalqueen]

Ha... "odd". Meaning you don't like it?

[coalheart]

I can tolerate it.

[Thank god he's conversing even with his one word replies.]

[animalqueen]

[She rolls her eyes at that response.]

If you don't like that, then you're not much of an 80's pop guy, are you? What a shame.

[She's teasing him, of course.]

Pick whatever you want, then. Pleeb.

[coalheart]

[It takes him a while to find something that actually catches his interest. He keeps tapping, listening for a few seconds, shakes his head, chooses another. It's kind of irritating. There is one song where he does pause, confused at the slow start. And then...

"Ground control to Major Tom..."

Space Oddity.

He listens. Shrugs. He finally leaves the iPod alone to let Bowie's song resonate in the car.]