[ It probably is a magnificent sight to those who have never seen it before. The Steppe is rarely welcoming to outsiders, and even then their business does not extend beyond the trading hub near the outskirts of of the Steppe proper. They have arrived at the heart of the land, the Monastery sitting on a ledge that overlooks everything for malms. The only points higher are the distant mountains, and the Dawn Throne set upon the stone structure in the center.
For Oz, the sight elicits a different feeling, one of bitter anger that sits heavy in the bottom of his heart. ]
No. This is where I was born. It isn't my home.
[ And it never will be, if he has his way. ]
I only visit this place in dreams. Usually nightmares.
[The discontent from Oz becomes obvious, from both his words and subtle weight of bitterness in the them. Dimitri disparages himself a second time for leaping to conclusions, gnawing briefly at the inside of his lower lip.
He affords their view another assessment. It’s truly a beautiful sight, not something one would consider potential to twist into a nightmare, but he is lacking context and experience with this place — both of which Oz possesses.]
Nightmares... [He wallows through those often enough, knowing how sobering it can be to realize one might be upon you.] What happened here?
[ For whatever it might be worth, Oz doesn't sound offended. He just seems the type to use as few words as possible and says what's on his mind - Dimitri wouldn't know anyone like that, would he? But in any case, despite the air of familiarity hanging between them, they are still strangers, and Oz doesn't expect Dimitri to know everything about him. Sometimes people come to the wrong conclusions, it's fine. ]
... It's a long story. You don't mind?
[ Oz doesn't often speak about his past - he has no one to speak about it to - but somehow he doesn't mind sharing now. ]
[He wants to know. He wishes to fill in the gaps to his knowledge with this young man, to close the space between them as strangers and perhaps skew like something closer to friends. It’s reasonable, he thinks — he can allow for it in this dream, to lose himself in someone else.]
[ Oz's tail twitches a time or two, as he considers where best to start. He has truly never told this story before, least of all to someone who seems wholly unfamiliar with his world, but by some blessing the dream seems to give him the words. A gentle, guiding hand to help him tread this new path he so deeply wishes to tread.
He gives a small nod, resuming their walk along the bridge, heading for where it sinks into the grass of the Steppe and leaves nothing but green, rolling hills before them. ]
The Azim Steppe. Many tribes of Au Ra live here; most of them migrate, never staying in one place for long. Once a year, a sacred battle is held: The Nadaam. The tribes war with each other and the victor earns the right to rule over the Steppe as khagan.
Every tribe prepares for the Nadaam in different ways, but strength and numbers are what they all want more than anything.
[Dimitri follows, his bootsteps a soft and steady tempo against the burnished stone of the monastery’s bridge, a familiar structure which eventually transitions into the soil of the Steppe. Normally, he would find it difficult to keep his eyes wrenched away from the stars hanging above, or the faraway cut of the mountains beyond, but Oz steals away all of his attention without trying. His assessment is pinned to him, noting every small change in his features as he begins to give context to this place — this dream, born of memory.
The explanation brings up the only parallel in his mind, perhaps colored brightly in recollection due to how recently it transpired: the Battle of the Eagle and Lion, stretched across Gronder’s Field. Each house pitted against the other to see which would be victorious, which banner might snap in the wind with pride while the others bore their defeat. But Dimitri has enough sense to avoid saying as much, knowing that was only a mock battle; tradition, yes, and an important day in the minds of young students looking to quell a bit of competition in their hearts. But nothing sacred, nothing that would determine leadership or in which direction the scales of influence would tip.]
Strength and numbers are often all that it takes to win a battle, especially if every side is of the same mind. [Brute force, charging forward with heat and determination. Dimitri can appreciate it in his own way; his fingers flex.] Did you participate, too?
[ He half expects something to happen the instant his boots touch grass, but nothing does aside from the soft crunch of earth beneath his feet. The ground does not open and swallow him whole, his fellow Xaela do not spring up from nowhere with rope and empty promises of glory. ]
I don't really remember my parents. The only things I recall are hunger and fear wile I wandered the plains. A child, alone.
[ He might never know the reason for his abandonment. It could have been an accident, but no one ever came for him. ]
Another tribe found me and took me in. Fed me, clothed me. But as was their tradition, children were not considered members of the tribe, weren't even given names, until they succeeded in a rite of passage when they reached their tenth summer. Then their worth as a warrior would be proven.
I was with them for only a few summers, but for all the children I saw succeed, there were those that I never saw again, and I was terrified.
That’s terrible. [—he says, before his usual filter can stop the words from being spoken.] To not even be given names, or to be treated as a true individual, until “proving” themselves through some kind of… dangerous trial?
[Faerghus was a land of knights, of honor in and out of the battlefield. Children learned to use a sword long before they could properly read and write, and Dimitri was no exception to that rule. He still remembers the days where he would train, as a child, running through the woods in heavy armor to build up his strength. Or when his own father would take time out of the day to show him how to properly wield a lance, where to place his feet, how to strike the enemy.
But that is different than what Oz is telling him; the unfair expectations of children to all be so strong, when he knows that humanity is weak and fallible at its core. Perhaps it’s unfair to apply his own cultural beliefs to one a world away, but he cannot help see it as unfair, as wrong. Individuals should not have to prove the right to exist by way of being a warrior.]
[ Perhaps if a different clan had found him in the wilds, things would have been different. Had he stumbled upon kindness and warmth instead, he might just be another Xaela of the Steppe, a warrior for the sake of being a warrior with no real purpose to guide him. ]
I didn’t think I had a choice. When my tenth summer came, I took my turn.
[ He extends a hand, indicating a lone tree in the far distance, still green and strong despite the sharp angle the winds of the Steppe have lent to its trunk. ]
They bound me to a tree, leaving me as the clan packed up its things to migrate to their next home. Children who free themselves and return to the clan are welcomed with open arms. Children who do not… just weren’t strong enough.
[It isn't surprising how easily anger flares in his gut any longer. It’s like a beast that sleeps within him, rising like a storm when met with unfairness and injustice, or circumstances that prey upon the innocent, or the memory of those he had lost and those who stole them from him. He's accepted it, now, that ugly part that heats his nerves and sets his fingers twitching once more for the point of his lance. And to hear this story from Oz, it’s no surprise that it twists inside of him again — angry for his sake, for a world (even worlds away) that would accept this as right, that would leave innocent children to die because they did not achieve an impossible standard of “strength” that made them worthy of living.
It shows on his face. For the first time, it truly informs the downward turn of his lips. A deep churning in blue eyes, an intensity fixed upon his new friend.]
They were wrong to do so. And they should be made to realize it; left tied up an alone and unable to move, let the wildlife encroach upon them thinking they are an easy meal.
[Let nature tear out and gnaw at their insides, and allow them to feel as weak as they make others.
[ Oz honestly cannot remember a time when anyone apart from himself was so outraged on his behalf. There is a storm of righteous fury brewing in Dimitri's blue eyes, and Oz is weirdly touched by the gesture. Even if his new friend can do nothing from a world away, that he even wants to seek justice in the first place means more to Oz than even he probably realizes.
In any case, Dimitri has easily endeared himself to the shadowy presence in the back of Oz's mind, the only other friend he has in the world.
Speaking of... ]
I was cut free.
[ His glance turns hesitant for a moment, as if he is not sure how to accurately describe what transpired, or even if he should. What if Dimitri thinks him mad?
Crimson eyes sweep over the prince's face, searching for the seed of betrayal, but he sees only the flash of hot anger on Oz's behalf, and decides it's worth the risk. ]
I heard a voice, someone telling me we didn't have to accept it as fair. We didn't have to play by their rules. And my ropes were cut. I didn't see who it was, just a glimpse of shadow, but I think... no, I know that presence is still with me. It feels like a friend.
[The anger has made its home on the young prince’s face, and it will not fade so quickly in the wake of Oz’s explanation. But one word halts his step for a moment, makes him pause before remembering himself to tread at the same pace of his new friend else he lags behind.
The words escapes him before he can give it more thought.]
A voice?
[It isn’t disbelief; it is so far from that. But it’s unexpected, makes him think of his own chorus of the dead that have hushed for this exchange, but now whisper and writhe in the back of his skull.]
What kind— of voice? A stranger’s?
[Not like his, surely— not loved ones eaten by flames, died in the throes of pain, limbs broken and heads severed from body—]
No... not a stranger's. Like I said, it's a friend.
[ Oz slows, watching his new companion while his own expression makes clear that he wishes he could properly explain this thing, this part of him that whispers to him in quiet anger where only he can hear, that bristles over the injustice they suffer on a daily basis and lends Oz a shadowy power to his sword strikes.
The dream once again intervenes on their behalf, trying to lend clarity to the unclear. Oz pulls to a slow stop, and for the first time since meeting Dimitri, that dark afterimage that seems to follow Oz around splits away from him. A shadow black as the blackest night, formless but for a pair of bright blue pinpricks where there should be eyes, peers at the prince from its place next to Oz. Its gaze is intense, unwavering, but not distrusting.
Whether Oz has noticed this or not is unclear as he still muddles for the right words. ]
I don't know if we're one person, or two people, but I don't think it really matters. He helps me.
[He is soon to learn that Oz speaks quite literally when he says a friend; impossible to deny it when that shadowy figure appears, pulling itself away from the other young man as though he is a part of him, and Dimitri supposes that isn’t too far from the truth. But it is still surprising, to be met with those pinpricks of intense lights acting as eyes, never mind if this is a dream where logic is malleable at best. Dimitri stops, jaw hardening not in distrust but in reflected scrutinization, seeking words even as his new friend begins speaking.]
Him, you mean?
[A sweep of a hand to indicate the shadow.]
Can he speak to me?
[He wonders, and then he wonders if it’s rude to ask in the presence of the “person” he is referring to — but he wonders all the same.]
[ Oz turns his head to look, just as the shadow cants what would be considered its head at Dimitri. For whatever it might be worth, Oz looks just as surprised as his new friend – the shade that lives in the back of his head is always there, but it never keeps a form long enough for Oz to look at it. ]
… I do.
[ What else could he possibly mean?
At Dimitri’s prompting, the shade does not speak, but it does move. Its shapeless form shifts, a tendril of dark reaching to span the place between them – a hand, extended to the waiting prince. ]
[This seems like imagery straight out of a cautionary tale told to children at night. That one should never feasibly reach out towards a shadow residing(?) in another, because a shade always represents something to be leery of, something dangerous, doesn’t it?
In this instance, Dimitri feels nothing of the sort. There is already trust placed in Oz, inexplicably — as a result, there is a newfound trust in his friend that saved him, this figure that he cannot quite make out the finer edges to.
Besides, who is he to judge when it comes to ghosts that reside within? At least this one seems amicable.]
Er—
[He hardly knows what to say, though. Dimitri reaches out, and—]
[ Fluid semblances of shadowy fingers close around Dimitri's hand, and oddly he will find that the shadow's touch truly is nothing to fear. It's warm. A comfort.
A friend.
The same feeling that presumably lives in the back of Oz's mind. The shadow has the capability to be his fury, his anger and sadness and resentment made manifest in a way that begs Oz to pay attention to his own feelings, but here in the dream, there is no cause for such fiery emotions. Only gentle warmth.
Those pinpricks of light angle, the shade canting its head in response to the prince's greeting, but it does not speak. Perhaps it doesn't know how to outside of Oz's own thoughts. Perhaps it's a moment, perhaps it's a lifetime, but eventually the shadow withdraws its hand, sliding back into Oz's being with a bow of its head. ]
[In his dreams, hands always reach for him. The dead grasp at his ankles, tear as his cloak, place their fingers around his neck and eyes and whisper in his ear that he isn’t doing enough — when will he do more? Dimitri should be more wary, then, of shadowy things that reach for him more, maybe fall on the instinct to recoil his fingers an inch or two in hesitation.
But no such hesitation comes. He doesn’t understand why, nor is he prone to questioning it, but slotting his touch against Oz’s companion’s is as easy as breathing, like he is reaching out to an old friend of many years. It's centering, correct, so much that it’s oddly distracting, and Dimitri has to blink and reorient himself in the moment when their contact is finally severed.
He flexes his hand out of habit, gives Oz an almost bashful-sounding laugh in reply.]
I’m glad to have made such a positive first impression.
[He drops his arm to his side finally, and the bright grin on his face fades into something softer.]
It is hard to explain why, but I feel as though… I have known the both of you all my life. I know that isn’t the case, but it’s strange, isn’t it? That I should call you my friend so readily and so soon.
[ Oz can't help but smile, a shy but amused expression that crosses his face. He knows, somehow without question, that Dimitri would be the only one to so readily accept that part of him, the shadowy thing that lives in his heart of hearts. Most others would fail to understand it, perhaps find it frightening. That simple, fumbling laugh lightens Oz's heart so much, he feels he might float away. ]
It's not strange. I feel it too.
[ Something is connecting them, a bridge between world and hearts linking them together. Dimitri is at once Oz's first friend and his oldest friend, and he can scarce explain how those two things can exist at the same time, in the same person, but he doesn't have to. Dimitri knows.
Quietly, and much in the same way his shadow had, Oz extends a hand to the prince. ]
[Without hesitation, without the self-awareness inherent in a young man born of royal blood and polite obligation, Dimitri reaches out to link his fingers with Oz’s. The connection feels solid and real, as though this were not a dream at all, a warmth where their bodies touch that makes him feel—
Secure, safe. Present and clear, in a way so very rarely granted to him.
He smiles, sincere and his eyes bright.]
Would it be selfish of me to hope that this dream doesn’t fade quite yet? That it might last an age.
[It cannot, he knows. Perhaps even as he says it, the edges of this place begin to haze and blur, like the brushstrokes of a watercolor painting.]
[ The second Dimitri’s fingers curl around his own it feels like… like a burst of sunlight over the horizon, a cool breeze bushing past his face that makes him feel at ease and refreshed and, oddly, safe. Oz has never known such a feeling in all his life, and he leans into it wholeheartedly. ]
Not selfish at all.
[ There’s a smile on Oz’s face, a gentle sort of thing that he doesn’t even think about. It’s just there. ]
I feel the same.
[ Oh, how he longs to stay like this, connected and yet somehow freer for it, but he can see the edges of this world beginning to fade. A world away, a hand alights on his shoulder, a gruff voice calling for him to wake up. Oz fights it a moment longer, his grip on Dimitri’s hand tightening. ]
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finalflight2020-07-12 03:12 pm
no subject
For Oz, the sight elicits a different feeling, one of bitter anger that sits heavy in the bottom of his heart. ]
No. This is where I was born. It isn't my home.
[ And it never will be, if he has his way. ]
I only visit this place in dreams. Usually nightmares.
no subject
He affords their view another assessment. It’s truly a beautiful sight, not something one would consider potential to twist into a nightmare, but he is lacking context and experience with this place — both of which Oz possesses.]
Nightmares... [He wallows through those often enough, knowing how sobering it can be to realize one might be upon you.] What happened here?
no subject
... It's a long story. You don't mind?
[ Oz doesn't often speak about his past - he has no one to speak about it to - but somehow he doesn't mind sharing now. ]
no subject
[He wants to know. He wishes to fill in the gaps to his knowledge with this young man, to close the space between them as strangers and perhaps skew like something closer to friends. It’s reasonable, he thinks — he can allow for it in this dream, to lose himself in someone else.]
Please tell me, if you like.
no subject
He gives a small nod, resuming their walk along the bridge, heading for where it sinks into the grass of the Steppe and leaves nothing but green, rolling hills before them. ]
The Azim Steppe. Many tribes of Au Ra live here; most of them migrate, never staying in one place for long. Once a year, a sacred battle is held: The Nadaam. The tribes war with each other and the victor earns the right to rule over the Steppe as khagan.
Every tribe prepares for the Nadaam in different ways, but strength and numbers are what they all want more than anything.
no subject
The explanation brings up the only parallel in his mind, perhaps colored brightly in recollection due to how recently it transpired: the Battle of the Eagle and Lion, stretched across Gronder’s Field. Each house pitted against the other to see which would be victorious, which banner might snap in the wind with pride while the others bore their defeat. But Dimitri has enough sense to avoid saying as much, knowing that was only a mock battle; tradition, yes, and an important day in the minds of young students looking to quell a bit of competition in their hearts. But nothing sacred, nothing that would determine leadership or in which direction the scales of influence would tip.]
Strength and numbers are often all that it takes to win a battle, especially if every side is of the same mind. [Brute force, charging forward with heat and determination. Dimitri can appreciate it in his own way; his fingers flex.] Did you participate, too?
no subject
[ He half expects something to happen the instant his boots touch grass, but nothing does aside from the soft crunch of earth beneath his feet. The ground does not open and swallow him whole, his fellow Xaela do not spring up from nowhere with rope and empty promises of glory. ]
I don't really remember my parents. The only things I recall are hunger and fear wile I wandered the plains. A child, alone.
[ He might never know the reason for his abandonment. It could have been an accident, but no one ever came for him. ]
Another tribe found me and took me in. Fed me, clothed me. But as was their tradition, children were not considered members of the tribe, weren't even given names, until they succeeded in a rite of passage when they reached their tenth summer. Then their worth as a warrior would be proven.
I was with them for only a few summers, but for all the children I saw succeed, there were those that I never saw again, and I was terrified.
no subject
[Faerghus was a land of knights, of honor in and out of the battlefield. Children learned to use a sword long before they could properly read and write, and Dimitri was no exception to that rule. He still remembers the days where he would train, as a child, running through the woods in heavy armor to build up his strength. Or when his own father would take time out of the day to show him how to properly wield a lance, where to place his feet, how to strike the enemy.
But that is different than what Oz is telling him; the unfair expectations of children to all be so strong, when he knows that humanity is weak and fallible at its core. Perhaps it’s unfair to apply his own cultural beliefs to one a world away, but he cannot help see it as unfair, as wrong. Individuals should not have to prove the right to exist by way of being a warrior.]
What did you do?
no subject
I didn’t think I had a choice. When my tenth summer came, I took my turn.
[ He extends a hand, indicating a lone tree in the far distance, still green and strong despite the sharp angle the winds of the Steppe have lent to its trunk. ]
They bound me to a tree, leaving me as the clan packed up its things to migrate to their next home. Children who free themselves and return to the clan are welcomed with open arms. Children who do not… just weren’t strong enough.
Twice in just ten summers, I was abandoned.
no subject
It shows on his face. For the first time, it truly informs the downward turn of his lips. A deep churning in blue eyes, an intensity fixed upon his new friend.]
They were wrong to do so. And they should be made to realize it; left tied up an alone and unable to move, let the wildlife encroach upon them thinking they are an easy meal.
[Let nature tear out and gnaw at their insides, and allow them to feel as weak as they make others.
Dimitri lets out a shuddering breath.]
How did you escape? You must have?
no subject
In any case, Dimitri has easily endeared himself to the shadowy presence in the back of Oz's mind, the only other friend he has in the world.
Speaking of... ]
I was cut free.
[ His glance turns hesitant for a moment, as if he is not sure how to accurately describe what transpired, or even if he should. What if Dimitri thinks him mad?
Crimson eyes sweep over the prince's face, searching for the seed of betrayal, but he sees only the flash of hot anger on Oz's behalf, and decides it's worth the risk. ]
I heard a voice, someone telling me we didn't have to accept it as fair. We didn't have to play by their rules. And my ropes were cut. I didn't see who it was, just a glimpse of shadow, but I think... no, I know that presence is still with me. It feels like a friend.
no subject
The words escapes him before he can give it more thought.]
A voice?
[It isn’t disbelief; it is so far from that. But it’s unexpected, makes him think of his own chorus of the dead that have hushed for this exchange, but now whisper and writhe in the back of his skull.]
What kind— of voice? A stranger’s?
[Not like his, surely— not loved ones eaten by flames, died in the throes of pain, limbs broken and heads severed from body—]
What does it tell you? Why did it free you?
no subject
[ Oz slows, watching his new companion while his own expression makes clear that he wishes he could properly explain this thing, this part of him that whispers to him in quiet anger where only he can hear, that bristles over the injustice they suffer on a daily basis and lends Oz a shadowy power to his sword strikes.
The dream once again intervenes on their behalf, trying to lend clarity to the unclear. Oz pulls to a slow stop, and for the first time since meeting Dimitri, that dark afterimage that seems to follow Oz around splits away from him. A shadow black as the blackest night, formless but for a pair of bright blue pinpricks where there should be eyes, peers at the prince from its place next to Oz. Its gaze is intense, unwavering, but not distrusting.
Whether Oz has noticed this or not is unclear as he still muddles for the right words. ]
I don't know if we're one person, or two people, but I don't think it really matters. He helps me.
no subject
Him, you mean?
[A sweep of a hand to indicate the shadow.]
Can he speak to me?
[He wonders, and then he wonders if it’s rude to ask in the presence of the “person” he is referring to — but he wonders all the same.]
no subject
… I do.
[ What else could he possibly mean?
At Dimitri’s prompting, the shade does not speak, but it does move. Its shapeless form shifts, a tendril of dark reaching to span the place between them – a hand, extended to the waiting prince. ]
no subject
In this instance, Dimitri feels nothing of the sort. There is already trust placed in Oz, inexplicably — as a result, there is a newfound trust in his friend that saved him, this figure that he cannot quite make out the finer edges to.
Besides, who is he to judge when it comes to ghosts that reside within? At least this one seems amicable.]
Er—
[He hardly knows what to say, though. Dimitri reaches out, and—]
Hello.
no subject
A friend.
The same feeling that presumably lives in the back of Oz's mind. The shadow has the capability to be his fury, his anger and sadness and resentment made manifest in a way that begs Oz to pay attention to his own feelings, but here in the dream, there is no cause for such fiery emotions. Only gentle warmth.
Those pinpricks of light angle, the shade canting its head in response to the prince's greeting, but it does not speak. Perhaps it doesn't know how to outside of Oz's own thoughts. Perhaps it's a moment, perhaps it's a lifetime, but eventually the shadow withdraws its hand, sliding back into Oz's being with a bow of its head. ]
... I think he likes you.
no subject
But no such hesitation comes. He doesn’t understand why, nor is he prone to questioning it, but slotting his touch against Oz’s companion’s is as easy as breathing, like he is reaching out to an old friend of many years. It's centering, correct, so much that it’s oddly distracting, and Dimitri has to blink and reorient himself in the moment when their contact is finally severed.
He flexes his hand out of habit, gives Oz an almost bashful-sounding laugh in reply.]
I’m glad to have made such a positive first impression.
[He drops his arm to his side finally, and the bright grin on his face fades into something softer.]
It is hard to explain why, but I feel as though… I have known the both of you all my life. I know that isn’t the case, but it’s strange, isn’t it? That I should call you my friend so readily and so soon.
[Ever earnest, he says it as he feels it.]
no subject
It's not strange. I feel it too.
[ Something is connecting them, a bridge between world and hearts linking them together. Dimitri is at once Oz's first friend and his oldest friend, and he can scarce explain how those two things can exist at the same time, in the same person, but he doesn't have to. Dimitri knows.
Quietly, and much in the same way his shadow had, Oz extends a hand to the prince. ]
no subject
Secure, safe. Present and clear, in a way so very rarely granted to him.
He smiles, sincere and his eyes bright.]
Would it be selfish of me to hope that this dream doesn’t fade quite yet? That it might last an age.
[It cannot, he knows. Perhaps even as he says it, the edges of this place begin to haze and blur, like the brushstrokes of a watercolor painting.]
no subject
Not selfish at all.
[ There’s a smile on Oz’s face, a gentle sort of thing that he doesn’t even think about. It’s just there. ]
I feel the same.
[ Oh, how he longs to stay like this, connected and yet somehow freer for it, but he can see the edges of this world beginning to fade. A world away, a hand alights on his shoulder, a gruff voice calling for him to wake up. Oz fights it a moment longer, his grip on Dimitri’s hand tightening. ]
I’ll find you again. I promise.