PSL; [every moment's a day]

[royalboar]

[He can’t fucking see.

His eye flares bright with pain. It feels as if someone’s hammered a nail into it, blinding him, and the heel of his hand presses hard against the flow of blood that ekes past the wound, smelling of copper and warm like fire. He forces his other open, willing it wide, and light floods his vision. He sees shapes, and those shapes shake and stutter and finally fuse into the violent scene now engulfing him — them — like a storm.

He had fallen to his knees, the bones in his legs having become useless in those few treacherous moments when pain seared itself into his eye. He can feel the hard, tiled floor bruising them, shards of glass strewn around his feet (the once-drink in his hand), gunshots filling his ears. Somehow, instinct had overtaken his body as he fell, and the table they once sat at now lays upturned in front of him, his only form of cover. It might as well be made of paper, judging by the sound of the gunfire staccato-crackling through the air. Automatic, high-caliber. A bullet punches through the wood just inches away from his head, spraying splinters, and he grits his teeth as his ears ring.

Movement all around him. The rest of his retinue are scrambling for cover, and the men opposite them must be doing the same. That, or they’re already dead, bleeding out with bodies full of holes, and this thought has him reaching for his gun — when he realizes it had been resting on the table, now skidded across the floor. In the line of fire and out of reach.

Shit.]

Ashe—! [It’s the man closest to him, their crack shot gunman, who hunches behind their shared cover. Dimitri yells over the din, adrenaline and pain twisting his face.] I want you to put a bullet through the skulls of every last one of them!

[Them. Unknown, masked, wordless men who had interrupted a by-the-books, boring business exchange by barging in and lighting up the whole room. Just a handful at best, but a handful of assault rifles is all it takes to turn a good day into a bad one.]

Comments

[chivalread]

[ This isn’t the first time Ashe has seen a dead body, not even the first time he’s seen the dead body of a friend, but there’s something about this instance that makes it… different. No one is immortal, he knows. A well-aimed bullet can put a stop to anyone’s life, be they the poorest man on earth or the most powerful, but there was something about the four of them. Dimitri’s closest friends and confidants, the ones always by his side. It seemed like it would be that way forever.

And now here Sylvain is, one more “should have” on Ashe’s very long list of should haves.

It’s hard to tell what Dimitri is thinking, blood slowly seeping over one side of his face while he stares silently with his good eye, but Ashe knows what he’s thinking. Someone has to pay. And someone will, if he knows Dimitri the way he knows him. ]

Boss…

[ The quiver has gone from his voice, but there’s still a softness to his tone, ever-present in a way that makes most people underestimate him. He stands, and for a second he’s not sure what to do with his hands, painted bright crimson. Is it Sylvain’s blood? he wonders, or someone else’s? At last he tugs handkerchief out of one pocket, hurriedly wiping his palms as clean as he can before stuffing the cloth back where it came from. ]

We should get you to Sister Mercie.

[ Too cute a nickname for their personal medic, but her demeanor lent itself to it. As it is, Ashe can already imagine the scolding Dimitri is going to get for letting his eye go this long. There might not be any salvaging it at this point. ]

[royalboar]

[He's already making his way to leave, shoes crunching atop the broken glass of a shattered storefront window. Dimitri scoffs — first Dedue and his unyielding concern, and now Ashe’s, the same but more softly applied. Between the both of them, he knows there’s no putting off tending to his eye much longer, though he’s starting to wonder what the point is. It’s painful to open it, but when he does, he sees nothing but black.]

Between you and Dedue, you’re not going to let up, are you? Fine.

[He acquiesces, if only because the pain and bleeding is turning into an annoyance, and he'd rather focus on his anger than anything else.]

If you’re that concerned, you can come with me. [He continues walking towards the backdoor, where they can slip away into dark alleys before taking a ride to see Sister Mercie herself. Dimitri trusts Dedue with the clean-up; he trusts Felix with the same once he returns, stewing in angry grief. He waves a hand for Ashe to follow, the other wiping at the blood beneath his eye.]

I can’t drive like this.

[chivalread]

[ Dimitri acquiesces, and that’s a small weight off Ashe’s shoulders in the midst of this mess. It does nothing for the weight sitting heavy in his chest, the sight of Sylvain’s slack and lifeless gaze burned into his memory, but it’s a start.

He exchanges a quick glance with Dedue, who is as hard to read as ever, but he gives Ashe a nod – a silent reassurance that he and Felix will be able to handle things here. Ashe nods back, the motion small and quick, before he’s darting off around ruined furniture to follow his leader. He skirts around Dimitri to take point on their way out, sparing only the slightest glance at the corpse Felix left splayed behind the bar.

They don’t know where the rest of their assailants went, but it seems none of them are lying in wait out back. Their vehicles seem untouched as well, but Ashe still gives the car he means to take a once over before opening the door to allow Dimitri inside, and sliding into the driver’s seat himself.

The quiet settles over the interior like a physical thing, tense and heavy. Ashe’s grip on the steering wheel goes white-knuckled, even as he eases them away from the ruined restaurant and out into the street. ]

Boss… I— I’m sorry. If I’d been just a little faster, then maybe…

[royalboar]

Don’t.

[The silence may weigh heavy at first, but the sharpness of that one word might as well shatter it like glass. Dimitri props up an elbow, leaning against the car door at the base of the window. His free hand wipes at the blood dribbling down his cheekbone.]

Just don’t, Ashe. It wasn’t your fault — guilt isn’t going to do you any good in this situation. It’s not yours to carry anyway.

[That is his burden to bear, and he’ll feel it begin to dissolve him from the inside out later. When the adrenaline has died, when his eye is tended to, when he’s finally by himself after the ruckus of this whole mess is sorted.

A leader takes the blame, after all. Barring betrayal or flat-out incompetence, it all circles around and back up to him. Part of his responsibilities.]

We just need to focus on getting back at anyone who would dare think to do this to us. You understand?

[chivalread]

[ That “don’t” is sharp and final, a whip-crack of a word that makes Ashe flinch just slightly, a stark contrast to the cool ease with which he’d wielded his weapon in the chaos but moments before. It’s true that guilt won’t do any of them any good, but despite the fact that Dimitri very clearly chooses to carry the weight of this on his own shoulders, he won’t be the only one.

Each of them will take a piece of this, whether they want to or not. They’d all been there, and they’d all failed to save Sylvain, and in their own ways, they’ll each feel it. Felix especially must be beside himself. Ashe doesn’t say as much, however, instead willing himself to relax a little, his iron grip on the steering wheel loosening a little. ]

Yessir.

[ It’s not his place to argue one way or another, anyway.

He spends a quiet moment as he navigates their way through the sparse late-night traffic to think of the old films of which he is so fond. Gangsters in black and white scheming and manipulating and gunning down anyone who got in their way. Revenge is a common theme in those movies, but none of them ever really explore what happens when it’s over. When revenge is served in a hail of bullets, what then? Does it make the gnawing feeling of “could have, should have” go away?

They’ll find out, one way or another, but for now the spire of Sister Mercie’s church is looming a short distance away, a grand and gothic structure half-illuminated by streetlights. A low glow shines through the stained-glass panes in what Ashe knows to be the church’s sanctuary, and Ashe has to wonder if the Sister keeps a candle lit for them when she knows they’re going to be doing business.

Ashe brings the car around the back of the building per the usual – no need to go frightening innocent churchgoers at any time of day or night by waking into the place bloodied and bullet-riddled – and once parked, he gets out to open Dimitri’s door for him. ]