[he never finished the book. the bookmark is still between the pages, untouched, and while cloud tried to get through it once—in one of many attempts to try and understand just what the hell was going through sephiroth's head—he never really got past the page sephiroth had left it off at.]

[the sudden attention on himself, however, has cloud very much feeling like he's on the spotlight. it's embarrassing how nice it feels that someone's noticed, but it also shows how easy it is for him to just let himself be around the other; no pretenses, no putting up appearances.]

[nothing really ever escapes sephiroth's scrutiny, after all.]

It's just a lot. [he sighs out, shaking his head and hand before sephiroth can think it's about this, them.] It feels like I'm trying to keep shit together when the world wants to spin out of orbit anyway. [he frowns, leaning forward and resting elbows to his knees.] I'm not sure I'm willing to keep up with how some things are changing. Stresses me out and then— [pointing at his head] you know. Keeps me up at night, can't concentrate the next day.